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neise_smith
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Name: Denise
Gender: Female
Interests: Learning to love God, Singing, Boating (Tubing), golf, volleyball, chillin' with friends, Disney World, concerts, themeparks, roadtrips, dancing, traveling,sleeping, and bike riding.
Expertise: I'm not perfect, and some of the stuff on here may not always be uplifting, but hey I'm human...Just trying to learn God's will and love for me everyday:)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  neise smith
MSN: d_n_smith@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  smitd137
Member Since:
4/19/2004
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| wow... in another 3 days, it would have been a month since I had posted. but please, dont think that that dosn't mean I haven't used the internet and gone on one of those "technology famines". No, I am just lovin' myspace and facebook so much more!! however, I do have something to post now, so here it goes.
Do you ever just want to love someone? I have, and I will until that day comes. I guess something I've always had on my heart the last few years is getting excited to love the man I am supposed to be married to some day. ok...call me a sappy romantic, but I'll admit it: I dream of being able to go meet his family, to be able to send him cards in the mail if we are distances apart, to beable to make him happy when it seems noone else can, to sit by him, whether at church, dinner, a movie, or whatever else, and just grab his hand to let him know I'm glad I'm by his side, to beable to make an occasional nice dinner (notice I said NICE), send him a little text message just to say " I was just thinking about you and smiled" ,and to say " Hi hon," or " hey there hott stuff;) " to him, and for him to know, I'm his. Devoted, and ready to make that realtionship work. Yes...even though some days the last thing I want to do is get in a relationship, I'll admit it, I'm getting older so I'm thinking of these such things on a very serious level.
but as I was thinking about this, something else bopped me in the head: God, saying "Denise, don't you ever think that I dream daily of having that type of relationship with you, where you'll know I'm at your side, and want you to get to know me in such an immaculate way?" I'm reading the book "Captivating" right now. This married couple talk in the book about how we always think that God wants to pursue us with his love, for us to take ahold of his intimate affection, however God wants us to pursue him in that exact way as well. He wants us want to draw near to God, in a Father and Friend way, not only as a Master, but as in an intimate friendship, where that love shines through you.
God wants us to be captivated with him, just as we long for our boyfriend to find us Captivating.
So I leave you with these lyrics to my new favorite song:
"Captivated"
Vicky Beeching lyrics
Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder
Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze
Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendour
You’re close and yet full of mystery
Ever since the day that I saw Your face
Try as I may, I cannot look away, I cannot look away…
Captivated by You
I am captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face
Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my gaze
I become more like You and my heart is changed
Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my view
Transform me into the likeness of You
This is what I ask, for all my days
That I may, never look away, never look away…
No other could ever be as beautiful
No other could ever steal my heart away
I just can’t look away…
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| This last month has been amazing for me for many reasons.
1.) I've been stretched, and will continue to be stretched more. God has taught me so much that I never anticipated learning, or relearning in a new view.
2.) I've come across new occupation possibilities, and the good part is that it's something I know God wants me to do, however I really don't even know where to start looking.
3.) I never thought I would say this, but having one of my closest friends move away has been the best thing for me. I never realized what an impact this person had on my life, and not necessarily all good. I also have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders from this person being gone. I know, vague, but I really don't know how to go into much more detail.
4.)I have made some great christian friends here, who might I just say, I am having a blast hanging out with! God really provides when you ask:)
well, if you could, I feel that alot of prayer covering me would be a good thing right now, as I try to figure where I am supposed to go from here.
hope all is well!
love, neise | | |
| Well letz see, I wrote that last post on wed. right after I wrote that, I had to run to the bank. So I was pulling out of the bank's parking lot, on a down slope, and I realized that My breaks we're working. I pulled off the road as soon as I could. but you know the most ironic God- thing about this all? The intersection which this happened at is one of the busiest in celina, and I usually have to wait 5 min just to get out of the parking lot, and when you get on the road, it is never empty on the other lane, there's atleast a few cars waiting at the stop light. anywho, so I drove back to ovisco, but since I am the car mechanic dummy, I didn't think too much about it, just that my breaks didn't feel right and that I barely had any. I think it was a God thing that the 3 stop lights I had to go through were all green. Anyways, Matt M, one of the OV employees, is a mechanic on the side, and informed me that I broke atleast one break line. That's when I realized how lucky I was that I made it back to the store safely....you had your angels watching over me God:)
on a bad note.......5 days later,and my car still isn't fixed. The worse part? now since they've been working on it, they informed my Dad that it would have just been probaly worth more trading it in. GREAT!!! I have a huge bill comming my way......
on a sweet positive note....the car mechanic place we went to let me borrow a car....it's only on the right track to my DREAM vehicle!!! a red suv with a SUNROOF, cd player, HEATED SEATS, adjusting seats, leather interior!!!! I hope the car place sees how tempting their making me to just want to buy it. Whats worse is that my dad told mom today that I looked really good driving it, and it looked like me.
well I'm off to start another night of trying to figure out the linksys. gag me. kelsey will be home in a half hour, so she makes up for the pain that is about to start.
love to all! | | |
| Scenario of me the last week: Calling a 800 number only to find that not only can this person barely speak english, but I'm talking to someone in INDIA!! ok...I love all nationalities, and by no means am I racists, however, I don't want to see ANYONE right now that donsn't speek english, or I'd probably just bop you right in the head for all the other 8 people I've talked to on the phone for over 6 hours that don't know a thing about ENGLISH!!! I'm not frusterated no, and no, I don't have a temper, but last night after spending another hour and a half on the phone with a lady till 2:00 AM, I had it in....especially when she said "mam, I have to go, my time is up with you. please call back another time and talk to someone else after you've downloaded the program I told you to." The ironic thing? I don't have the internet to download it on because I just spent the past week talking more than 6 hours on a phone to people that can't even say the english alphabet to hear, "mom (she meant to say mam) you wireless router needs upgraded." the ironic thing? we just got it last week. I hope this brings a laugh to you, as i surely hope that someday when all of this fiasco is fixed, I too will be able to laugh. Lets see...what else is new? Angie's wedding was beautiful. I cried. I just couldn't help it, and needless to say, I am one step closer at becomming a professional cake cutter!!! haha. Sunday maria and christina (my Jesus Take 3 partners in crime) came down to celina...it was just what I needed (except the fact that I had the most Gosh awful headache). We just went down to the lake and sang.....I've never felt so alive:) have you ever felt that you want just to get away, have some time to yourself, to think. but just as you do, all of a sudden what you wanted to think about somehow dissapeared from your mind? welcome to my boat. alright......back to work, lunch time at OV is over. peaceouthomies! | | |
| This week has been a lot of good, and other hand it been quiet tough. the good: I have a direction! I am starting to get ambitious and knowing what I am doing with in the next few months. What it took: a really good friend telling me what others wouldn't tell me. I took a little me breaking down walls, doing not the things of familiarity, but a new idea. I am able to take a next step because I finally have one barrier (almost) down. I know, this is very vague, but I'm not fond of telling whats going on on such a public site. the bad: My best friends are still at college. I'm really starting to miss college...but even more I'm missing a huge part of what made college so great: THE FRIENDSHIPS. I feel at a lost right now. I have friends in celina, don't get me wrong, but noone that knows me and can relate as much as my best friends from college. I feel like I really dont have any one to talk to hear. yes, small talk, but noone I can go ramble on with my day, understand the things I'm feeling, and give me the great advice cause they know me so well. I miss hearing about my friends as well, and seeing their smiling faces every day. But you know whats even harder? I call my friends, but everyone is too busy, heading here or there, with 7 other people, or at some activity, or already in bed cause their student teaching. It's tough: to hear them laughing in the background with their friends, or to know they get to do all the activities that I once did, and I want to just relate, to hear about it. On the other hand, I just want to run. It's getting to me, and (back to the beginning), I don't feel like I have any one to talk to. I just want to cry. I'm busy here. I've been working alot, helping out with youth group, mentoring a girl, but I feel empty.I was talking to lady yesterday, and she said it best. I feel like I'm filling others cups, but I'm not getting mine filled. I call my friends, talk to them, but very rarely do I have anyone call me just to see how I'm doing. I need that now. more than ever. Staying here is hard cause there's a very limited young adult christian group here, unless your married with 4 kids. I feel like I would feel more like my self in another land, cause people don't know me here, they also see who I was in the past, not who I really am, or they think they already know me. Work this week was really stressful. I took a beating from alot of people due to other people slaking, saying stuff would be done and it isn't, and just the fact that I'm a young female...apparently which make me not worthy of knowing anything about a sporting goods or boat cover business, which dosn't help any. I just need lifted up. really bad. I like celina, its just not for me. God has been wonderful with providing things, but I need the help of people..I'm sure its a little phase. next week I'll be fine. but for now, I need someone to fill my cup. on a good note, angela jo heyne is getting married today. I can't believe it (in a good sense:) )!!! | | |
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